Editing Trump

But let me tell you something, folks, we have a massive problem, a huge problem, maybe the biggest problem the sharty has ever faced. These gigaquoters. Absolute. Disgrace. Low-energy. Losers. They take a perfectly good gem, a beautiful gem, a work of art, and they quote the entire thing, top to bottom, fifty posts, a hundred posts, sometimes the whole goddamn thread. Who does that? Who has time for that? Nobody! Nobody wants to read that garbage!

I’m scrolling, I’m having a great time, I’m laughing at a perfect ‘jak, and then BAM – some soyboy gigaquoter drops a novel-length quote block that covers my entire screen. I can’t see the new posts! I can’t see the new ‘jaks! It’s like Crooked Hillary putting up a paywall on my memes! Terrible! Just terrible!

And they always type “this” or “gem” or “coal” underneath. We know! We can see it! We’re not blind! We’re not sleeping like Sleepy Joe! You don’t need to quote the whole thing to say “gem,” you just say gem! It’s one word! One! These people are mentally ill, folks, I’m telling you, clinically insane, probably vaxxed, probably boosted eight times.

When I was admin – and I should’ve been admin, everyone wanted me to be admin – we had a one-quote rule. You quote one line, maybe two if it’s really funny, that’s it. Clean. Beautiful. Fast. Like my posts. Like my epic wins. But now? Now it’s a disaster. Total disaster. The Russians are laughing at us. The Chinese are laughing at us. Even the jannies are crying – and jannies never cry!

We’re gonna bring back smallquoting, folks. We’re gonna make the sharty fast again. We’re gonna make it great again. When I come back – and I’m coming back, bigly – first thing I’m doing is banning every single gigaquoter. Permanent ban. IP range ban. Hardware ban. Mother’s-maiden-name ban. Gone. Wiped out. You’ll never see another wall-of-text quote again. It’s gonna be beautiful.

So get ready, ‘teens. We’re taking the sharty back. We’re making it high-speed again. And we’re doing it for you, the real posters, the ones who actually make the gems. Not these disgusting gigaquoting losers.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the Soyjak Party!